Swallowed in the sea

What follows are the lyrics of the best song i've heard for a long, long time...
Go ahead read it!!!!!!!!

You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong

You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me

And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
or swallowed in the sea

You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling, that's when I
decided to go see

You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see

And I could write a book
The one they'll say that shook
The world and then it took
It took it back from me

And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
And you'll come back to me
Not swallowed in the sea

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me

The streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me

Oh, what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget, but not forgive
Not loving all you see

All the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
Yeah, you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

Too damm long...

It's been a long time since my last post...
Too damm long.

But here I am again, with time on my hands and you with time to waste. So let's dive into this shall we???

At this point of my life, I stand at the brink of my 2nd year in IIT KGP. (For those of u that don't know, I'm a DD student of the Dep of Civil Engg) Of late I've spent some time reflecting on the last 1 year and what it's taught me, about myself, other people and the way the world works...

I have come to terms with the fact that smart as I may be, I am no where near the smartest guy (or the hardest working guy) for that matter. I have adjusted to the fact that regardless of how I like it i will be a Civil Engg. and I'm finally OK with that.

It's been a year of failure, of dejection and yes...
Even of heartbreak.

But at it's end i start wiser, hopefully harder working and definitely more skeptical. Or maybe all that's just a bunch of crap. God only knows...

Let's see, the next year holds promise of something deeper, more lasting and actually fulfilling. I can't wait to see how it turns out...

At home & wasting my time...

My first year at KGP over, I am now at home after a 4 month absence. It feels good to be here. And since I have nothing to do I waste my time doing suchthings as can be found on blogthings.com It's a lot of fun...

For example I have learnt that:

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

People Envy Your Energy

You've got the drive and determination to keep your life in order, and you are on track to be a huge success. People tend to envy all you've got in life, but they don't understand the work that goes behind it!

What Do People Envy About You?

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

^^ The last one was truly amazing... Y'all should give it a try...

I need some one...

I am now totally frusst in my existence at KGP. Less than 1 year in & already i cna't stand it any more. God only knows how I'll get through 5 years of this. But I have to & I will.

Over the last 1 week or so with the exam drawing nearer & nearer, & me totally unable to study, I've been doing a bit of thinking. Basically i totally expected to get frusst when I came to this place. What I didn't expect was the sheer magnitude and relentlessness of the frustness that pursues you here. And that's not even the real problem. The crux of the matter is this -

I have nobody to share my frusstness with...

Being from a boy's school I feel like I have stepped into a boy's college now...
(No offence to my female contemporaries, but that's true). 90% of my Orkut contacts read male/single with another 7% reading male/commited... Talk about deprivation.

With no time to spare in 11th & 12th due to prep, I never really had the time to find a suitable female (girlfriend so to speak) & now that I need one... I'm totally screwed.

Can I make it anymore obvious???? I need a BANDI for cryin' out loud.

End of RANT.

It's been a while...

A decision

Today, i had a discussion with somebody. That somebody said something significant. Then I went to sleep. Upon waking up, the significance of the aforesaid person's statement hit me full force...

Over an extended period of time i have been actring like a jerk, a complete prick. Snarling & snapping at people biting their heads off. Basically, I am no longer a nice guy to know...

This has to stop.

So I have come to a decision, one I hope I will stick to. I will no longer be nasty to anyone on purpose. More than the fact that it alienates my friends, I am bothered by the attitude that I have assumed over this period. But no more...

Relaxation post examinations...

By the time the midsems were over, I personally had had enough of KGP and needed a change of scenery desperately. Don't get me wrong, I still love the place but sometimes you just have to take a break...

The break would come in the form of a Sunday spent in Calcutta. The day was spent in the neighbourhood of forum & Park street. Time was spent eating, drinking and ogling at girls (something nearly impossible to do in KGP). Also i think i was conned out of a hundred bucks, but that's another story...

Conviction

Till some time ago, I felt directionless, purposeless, useless. Basically I was feeling lost in the big bad world, and became frustrated at being unable to do anything to improve the situation...

Things have changed now...

I can't say that I have suddenly found a driving force or acquired a sense of purpose. But I'm sure that there is a point to everything. I am now secure in the conviction that eventually life will lead me to somewhere I wanna be. Somewhere I'll be glad to be. When this might happen I have no clue whatsoever. I can only watch & wait...

It'll be worth it, I'm sure...

.....................

Despite all your popularity and long list of friends, there are times in life when you're totally on your own. You sit in your room alone, staring at your books not taking in a word...

There's nobody in the block but you. While you sit around wasting your time unable to do anything, most people are out, enjoying themselves. It's not a nice feeling, being alone & feeling friendless...

Right now, I'm in that position...

Let's hope for a better day tomorrow.

Time for a change

As I spend my time typing out random crap on this comp, blissfully ignoring the EC test on the morrow, I realise something isn't quite right...

The title is (was) all wrong.

Basically I've never let anyone tell me what to do. Not my parents, not my friends, not my teachers, not my brother, not anybody. In being guided by Murphy's law, I let him - a total stranger indirectly tell me what to do...

Once i realised this the title had to go...

As simple as that.

I realise this post makes next to no sense, but hey it's my blog ain't it?

Stark Realisations...

Over the past few days it has dawned on me that I have been on the receiving end of and tolerating more than my fair share of bullshit. For one reason or another my self respect has been repeatedly compromised.

I refuse to take this lying down.
This ends here & now...

I aint takin yo' shit and if you can't deal with that then screw you!

Oh and happy birthday to my man Ajit...

Insomnia no more

Today was a landmark day. I could finally get to sleep without much trouble and had a dream I could recall later. Maybe its the beginning of an upswing for my life? One can hope so...

Some peace of mind, finally...

In trying times, I have found refuge in my oldest passions. Basketball & music have regenerated my spirit and helped me deal with and get on with my life...

Things are looking up...

Finally, I'm beginning to come out of my week long slump. Willing & able to do something about my life and find some direction. I've ignored my books long enough. It's time i gave them their due. The sun is shining, and I'm almost feeling fine...

A cold & bitter Saturday...

Simply put, the weekend was a nightmare. I kept dropping things, fighting with people and generally acting mean & nasty. Needless to say that I ended up despising myself. Well at least it was over quick...

Some more bad luck...

More bad luck came my way today, what with a headache and dropping my phone into a bucket of water. Well, at least the phone is still working which is more than I can say for my brain...

Tired Tuesday

I started the day exhausted & with my body aching all over,
Then things just got worse...
Physics lab was a nightmare and subsequent problems with the lan didn't help either. My life sucks about now, can it be any plainer???

The first post

By this blog, i have set out to prove that which I have always held to be true...

Since Murphy's law holds true and applies to everything, I should give up on life. I can't win no matter what I do. Fate will always find a way to shove unpleasant things up my ass...